If you’re wondering whether you can still have a fulfilling sex life with herpes, the answer is, yes. Getting diagnosed with genital herpes can seem like a harsh reality for many people since there is no cure for this sexually transmitted disease (STD). The other devastating factors are the risk of transmission through skin-to-skin contact and being forced to deal with recurrent breakouts of herpes sores or blisters throughout your lifetime. While there is no cure for oral or genital herpes, avoiding unprotected sex and taking an anti-viral drug are effective ways to lower the risk of transmitting the herpes virus and control recurrent flare-ups.

4 Tips for Having Sex with Herpes

Genital herpes or HSV-2 is caused by the herpes simplex virus type 2. It is also common in the US, affecting more than one in every six people between the ages of 14 to 49. Once the infection occurs, the virus enters the body and remains in the nerve cell for life. It can then be transmitted through oral, vaginal, or anal sex or even mere contact with infected skin. However, having sex with herpes is not as complicated as it may seem. The best things you can do is follow safe practices like telling your partner, tracking your symptoms, and knowing when to avoid sex. More importantly, taking the following precautions can protect you and your partner without sacrificing sexual pleasures.

1. Take a Herpes Drug to Control Outbreaks

Focusing on getting treated should be your top priority in controlling the herpes symptoms and maintaining your health. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), HSV-2 causes an average of four further outbreaks a year after the initial infection. Although they become less severe and occur less frequently with time, antiviral drugs can be prescribed to suppress the symptoms or reduce the number of yearly outbreaks. Certain drugs are designed to be taken as soon as you feel the symptoms coming on. If you already have a prescription filled, it is important to take the medication as prescribed by your doctor.

2. Always Use a Latex Condom

You should consider using a condom once you’re ready to resume your sex life or after taking a relationship break to understand the impact of herpes on your future romance. You should also avoid having sex during the initial outbreak of symptoms. In fact, unprotected sex, whether or not herpes symptoms are present, places your partner at risk of getting the infection. Having an enjoyable sex life with herpes therefore means always using a latex condom for vaginal, anal and oral sex. Oral or tongue condoms are also available for performing oral sex. Note, however, that condoms do not guarantee 100% protection. The virus can still infect areas around the mouth and genital not protected by the condom.

3. Get It On with Mutual Masturbation

Having sex with herpes can be as erotic and exciting when you and your partner perform mutual masturbation. There is almost a zero percent chance of transmitting the virus this way. You can masturbate each other simultaneously, one after the other, or masturbate yourselves alongside each other. Masturbation can be done using the hands, dildo or vibrator based on your preference. One of the most important things to do is to wash your hands, and sex toys, thoroughly with warm soapy water before and after mutual masturbation. Also, do not touch your bodily fluids or sores before touching your partner.

4. Keep a Watchful Eye for Signs of an Outbreak

Not everyone experiences recurrent herpes flare-ups. If you’re not that fortunate, that’s okay. Paying attention to your body can help you take the necessary precautions. For example, you may feel a burning, itching, or tingling sensation at the site of the initial infection. This is usually followed by blisters that will turn to sores then scab and heal. The risk of infecting a partner with oral or genital herpes is high throughout this period.

Therefore, it is best to avoid kissing, vaginal, anal, and oral sex altogether during this time even if there are no visible symptoms. You should also take your medication right away if you’re being treated with an antiviral drug, such as valacyclovir that suppresses the oncoming symptoms. Suppressive valacyclovir therapy has proven to significantly reduce the risk of HSV-2 transmission and shorten the length of the outbreaks.

The Takeaway

There is a negative stigma attached to genital herpes that may make you believe that having a sex life with herpes is impossible. But there is no need to panic or give up on romance. In reality, you can have an enjoyable sexual relationship regardless if you have HSV-1 oral herpes or HSV-2. The most important thing is to control the outbreaks, never have unprotected sex, and find other safe ways to enjoy intimacy.

On HerpesDatingSites.com, you will find honest and detailed reviews about some of the most popular herpes dating sites around. We have signed up to these sites, tested out the features, experienced the positives and the negatives, interacted with the users, and looked up everything you need to know about whether or not the site will be beneficial to you. Check the best herpes dating sites for 2020 now!

Herpes is a virus that can infect the mouth or genitals and can be transmitted through oral to oral, genital to genital, and oral to genital contact. There is also no cure for herpes infection which can make it difficult for you to date or have a long-term relationship. Your main concern may be the possibility of transmission to your partner when kissing or having sexual or skin-to-skin contact. However, contracting herpes does not disqualify you from having sex or enjoying the benefits of a long-term relationship.

5 Tips to Help You Control Herpes in a Long-Term Relationship

You can still have a normal and happy long-term relationship by managing the herpes infection. Perhaps the two most important things are getting the herpes facts and having the courage to tell your partner. In some cases, the partners may discover that they both have the infection. Once you’ve declared your health status, taking steps to decrease the number of outbreaks and lower the risk of passing the virus are essential ways to control the herpes infection.

1. Get the Facts About Herpes

You and your partner getting factual information about herpes is a primary and essential way to manage a herpes infection in your relationship. Millions of American adults contracted either or both the Herpes Simplex Virus 1 (HSV-1) which causes oral herpes or HSV-2 which causes genital herpes. Herpes type 2 is considered a sexually transmitted disease (STD). HSV-1 occurs on, in, or near the mouth and results in cold sores or fever blisters while HSV-2 happens on or near the sex organs, buttocks, or anus and causes blisters or sores to develop at the site of the infection. Once the infection occurs, the virus goes to “sleep” in the body and later reactivates causing what is called a herpes outbreak of sores or other symptoms. Knowing these and other important herpes facts will empower you to do what’s best to avoid transmission.

2. Tell Your Partner

Genital herpes, especially, carries a certain stigma because it is considered an STD or sexually transmitted infection (STI). Although more than 1 in every 6 people ages 14 to 49 have herpes, it can still be difficult for you to let anyone know you have HSV-2 or even HSV-1. Chances are, you were unaware of the infection until you had an outbreak while in the relationship. But telling your partner could make you appear promiscuous or unfaithful. There is also a possibility that your partner may reject or leave you. Although telling your partner is risky, full disclosure at the beginning of the relationship or at the time you discover the infection can make it easier for both of you to control herpes infection while pursuing a long-term relationship.

3. Have Protected Sex

Whether or not you get outbreaks or herpes symptoms, it is still possible to pass the virus. Therefore, you or your partner should always wear a condom to lower the risk of transmission and protect each other’s health. A condom should be worn during oral, vaginal, and anal sex. Doctors recommend that you avoid sex altogether during an outbreak or when you see signs of an imminent flare-up. Staying in your long-term relationship means there will always be a risk of transmission, but having safe sex is one of the best ways to minimize the risk.

4. Take Your Medication

FDA-approved antiviral drugs are usually prescribed to treat and control HSV-1 and 2. Treatment helps to significantly reduce the recurrent outbreaks or flare-ups as well as the possibility of transmission. If you haven’t started treatment, you should do so right away. Your doctor will prescribe antiviral drugs that suit your needs. You should take your medication as prescribed as part of herpes infection management. There is episodic therapy that allows you to take medication at the first sign of a flare-up. Your doctor could also prescribe drugs to suppress the virus if you get frequent recurrent symptoms (suppressive therapy). Taking your medication as directed can help to reduce the number of outbreaks and shorten the time the symptoms persist. 

5. Know Your Body

There is no one specific thing that triggers herpes symptoms, although studies find that stress, eating certain foods, and even sex can cause the virus to act up. However, knowing when an outbreak is coming on is a guide to avoiding intimacy during this time and until after the symptoms go away completely. Itching or tingling at the site of the infection, e.g., the lips, vagina, or penis, are common signs of an oncoming flare up. If you do decide to have sexual intercourse, remember to always use a condom. However, bear in mind that herpes can still transmit to areas around the genitals not protected by the condom.

The Takeaway

Contracting herpes 1 or 2 does not mean you can’t kiss, have sex or a long-term relationship, get married, or even have children. You can continue to enjoy all of these relationship benefits. If both of you contracted the virus, this can provide a better understanding and opportunity for you to manage herpes infection as a couple. Just remember that you can keep the herpes virus in check by taking your medication, having safe sex, and keeping a watchful eye for the onset of symptoms.

On HerpesDatingSites.com, you will find honest and detailed reviews about some of the most popular herpes dating sites around. We have signed up to these sites, tested out the features, experienced the positives and the negatives, interacted with the users, and looked up everything you need to know about whether or not the site will be beneficial to you. Check the best herpes dating sites for 2020 now!

How do you date with genital herpes? Dating with herpes — genital herpes, or HSV-2 — can be emotionally painful, and you might feel isolated from the outside world as a result, but you don’t have to feel that way.

First, how can you even find a partner? How do you stay motivated?

Then, what’s the best way to break the news? How do you tell your partner that you’ve contracted genital herpes?

In this article, we’ve gathered data from the world’s top psychologists to answer all of your questions about how to successfully date with herpes.

Dating with Herpes: A Word of Advice

When it comes to dating, everyone, in some way, has some form of handicap.

Whether it’s mental (like depression or some other psychiatric disorder) or physical (like an STI), no one is perfect. If you’ve just contracted herpes, going back into the dating world can be daunting. It’s like this one event split your whole dating experience into two halves: pre-herpes and post-herpes.

Now, not only do you have to deal with all of your regular, run-of-the-mill insecurities, but you also have to tell your partner that you have genital herpes.

When it Comes to Dating With Herpes, You Don’t Have to Be Alone

But that doesn’t mean you should be alone the rest of your life. You’re right to get back into the dating world. Just by looking this article up online, you’re on the right path.

Everyone – whether if it’s because they’re too fat, too short, too ugly, or too nice – has something that’s holding them back from being the perfect partner. No one is 100%, but we all make do with what we have. And, often, that’s enough.

Maybe being too fat takes 10% off your dating potential. Maybe being too short takes 20% off your dating potential.

And maybe having herpes hurts your dating potential as well.

But no matter what your handicap is, whether it’s real or imagined, keep this in mind: It’s not 100%. You’ll always have potential. You’ll always have something to work with, even if it’s just 10%. There will always be someone out there for you, no matter who you are or what problems you have.

Someone out there has done better with worse circumstances.

So, when it comes to finding a partner — and not just communicating your predicament, keep in mind that no one is perfect, and many people are willing to accept you exactly as you are.

When Should I Tell My Partner I Have Genital Herpes?

When it comes to dating with herpes, the first question you might ask yourself is, “When is it a good time to tell my partner?”

Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide exactly when you want to tell your partner that you have an STI, but one thing’s for certain: Tell him or her before you two have any sexual contact. It’s just common sense. If you think you might have an STI, it’s absolutely your responsibility to tell your partner (who has no idea you have an STI, and therefore no reason to worry about contracting one), prior to being intimate, in order to reduce the chances that you’ll spread it. You might be dreading telling your partner that you have herpes, but it’s much better than telling your partner that he or she might have herpes.

Why You Need to Tell Someone You Have HSV-2

And this is especially important for herpes, since herpes is an STI that can be spread while having safe sex. Not all herpes sores are covered by latex condoms, and physical contact with an open sore is exactly how herpes spreads. It’s entirely possible to do everything “the right way,” to take your herpes medication, to wait until your symptoms clear up, to wear a condom, and still give your partner genital herpes.

With that said, nobody’s perfect. In the heat of the moment, it can be twice as difficult to admit something like this. Maybe you have herpes and you’ve been having sexual contact with your partner anyway. Just because there haven’t had any problems yet doesn’t mean that there won’t be any problems in the future. It’s best not to wait any longer to tell him or her.

And with that said, what’s the best way to deliver the news?

[READ MORE: How to Have a Fulfilling Sex Life with Herpes]

A Scientifically Backed Way to Deliver Bad News: How to Tell Someone You Have HSV-2 While Minimizing the Pain

Obviously, people are more willing to share good news than bad news. You’re more eager to tell your parents about a job promotion than a lay-off.

In fact, it’s a behavior so common that researchers have a name for it: the “MUM effect,” (keeping “mum” about bad news).

And, luckily, a particular research study can show you how to best break the bad news that you have herpes to your partner. According to Psychology Today, “Igier and her fellow researchers asked 140 adults and about 50 nurses and nurse’s aides to indicate how acceptable it was for physicians to reveal the truth, and under what circumstances.” From this, they determined five principles for breaking bad news:

5 Tips for Telling Someone You Have Genital Herpes

1. Tell at least part of the truth if you think the person needs to hear it. You don’t need to break the news all at once. If you refuse sex one day, for example, tell your partner that it isn’t them, that there’s something you want to tell them but you don’t think you currently have the strength to do it. Honesty, even when it comes to being reluctant about telling your partner that you have genital herpes, is the best policy.
2. Sugarcoat it if you think the person can’t handle it. “It’s me, not you,” is a good place to start. Make sure that your partner knows it has nothing to do with him or her.
3. Operate according to politeness theory. This advice is for both of you: You might not want the outside world to know that you have genital herpes, and your partner might not want the outside world to know that he or she is dating someone with genital herpes. According to politeness theory, you both want to “save face,” so to speak, so just make sure to keep the conversation between the two of you.
4. Take your time to prepare your message. Once you say something, you can’t take it back. To your brain, giving bad news is more cognitively demanding than giving good news. Make sure to seriously think about and maybe even practice what you’re about to say. It could mean the difference between keeping your relationship and losing it.
5. Rely on others. If you trust a friend enough to bring them into the situation (while still “saving face” according to politeness theory), do it. There’s no reason you should go at it alone if you don’t have to.

Closing Thoughts: Dating with Herpes

Before, you might have thought that dating with herpes, particularly genital herpes, is impossible.

However, you’d be surprised to find that you’re not alone. In fact, you’re far from it.

According to the World Health Organization, over 417 million people (11%) aged 15-49 have HSV-2, or genital herpes. With that in mind, you’re probably not quite as “damaged” as you would’ve thought. Literally 1-in-10 people across the globe have the exact same problem that you do, and they’re likely doing just fine.

In conclusion, it’s possible to date with herpes.

There are tons of stories of people successfully dating with genital herpes. For example, read one woman’s story about how she contracted (and dealt with) genital herpes in college.

It might set you back. It might limit your “dating potential,” but nobody’s perfect. Everyone has something that the opposite sex sees as undesirable — whether it’s because of their weight, height, or just general physical attractiveness.

Nevertheless, as long as you’re putting yourself out there, everyone finds someone eventually. If you follow this guide to help you date with herpes, your potential problems will be made that much easier.

On HerpesDatingSites.com, you will find honest and detailed reviews about some of the most popular herpes dating sites around. We have signed up to these sites, tested out the features, experienced the positives and the negatives, interacted with the users, and looked up everything you need to know about whether or not the site will be beneficial to you. Check the best herpes dating sites for 2020 now!

You may think that, as an individual with herpes, your dating life is over. This isn’t true, as there are plenty of other people with this condition that are out there going on all kinds of dates. You can be one of these people, especially if you live in New York City. With a large population, you are sure to find someone in NYC with your exact condition and desire to date. The rekindling of your dating life can start with a herpes dating site.

You may be immediately ready to date. In this case, you can sign up for a free membership on one of many different herpes dating sites available online. Then again, you may feel a little shy and hesitant to begin dating again. There are support groups on the internet specifically made for individuals like you with this condition. On these sites, you can meet others who are going through what you are going through. You can connect with others, make new friends, and build the confidence to go out there and mingle. If you feel uncomfortable joining a site that’s created for people with your condition, then there’s always the general dating sites.

1. Start with those who Share Your Condition

Having something in common with someone can be a great start to connecting with them. That one similarity can be living with herpes. Meet and talk to people whom you can relate to in this regard. You may be introduced to all kinds of colorful individuals that you otherwise would not have met. NYC is filled with many people and a ton of places. It could be difficult to know where and how to search for a potential date. This is where dating sites come into play. A dating site that specifically focuses on singles with herpes can make it much easier to find a date in New York.

Sign Up on Herpes Dating Sites

As mentioned before, you can check out websites that are specially built for dating with herpes. Sites like these usually protect your privacy. This comes in handy if you are afraid that someone you know may find you on there. It’s also if you don’t feel you are ready to be open about your condition. You have access to all kinds of features that allow you to make new friends and find potential mates. One such dating site is Positive Singles. There’s a reason why this site is considered to be one of the best, if not the best, herpes dating site out there. It’s available to people with herpes all over the world, including people like you in New York. It has the feel of many different herpes support groups.

Join Herpes Support and Social Groups

You don’t have to sign up on a herpes dating site to join a herpes support group. There are already many different groups online you can check out. They help you meet people online with your condition and even schedule meet-ups. You could also search for a local support group in New York City. There are all kinds available. Doing research will help you determine which one is right for you. The goal of herpes support groups is to allow you to make new friends in a safe environment. You can connect with others through the understanding of having to live with herpes. Here, people can give you advice on everyday living and dating. There are probably also individuals who would be willing to share their success stories with you.

2. General Dating Sites will still welcome you

Living with herpes doesn’t mean that you are restricted to herpes dating sites. You don’t even have to join social groups for herpes dating. All or most of those dating sites you’ve seen on TV count as options for you. It’s true that the commercials don’t mention dating with herpes. That isn’t a barrier for dating on this site unless you aren’t 18 years of age or older. There are all kinds of people on these popular sites, including singles with herpes. They, of course, are not the only general dating sites available for you. There are also niche dating sites and local dating sites.

Dating Sites for People in New York

New York City already has a large population. It would make sense to have a dating site specifically for this area. One such website is sparkology.com. This dating site is made for young professionals. You could be in college or fresh out of college with a career. There are probably plenty of other people with your condition on this site or similar sites. You may have received advice from herpes support groups about these local dating sites. Certain sites might be more recommended than others for dating with herpes.

Dating Sites of Particularity

Are you looking for someone who has one other trait or interest in common with you besides your condition? Chances are that there’s a dating site for that interest. Good examples would be Elite Singles and Millionaire Match. These are dating sites that are particularly for wealthy individuals. If you match this category and want to find a date within this group, then these are the dating sites for you. Do research on dating sites centered on one of your main interests. There may be others doing herpes dating on those sites, as well. Having a similarity to someone in addition to your herpes further increases your chances of connecting with them.

Popular Dating Sites

Sites like eHarmony, Match.com, and all those other As Seen on TV dating sites have proven to be successful for just about any type of person. This shouldn’t exclude people with herpes searching for a date. Because of the popularity of these sites, you may have a higher chance of finding someone. These are mainstream dating sites, so you can count on all kinds of individuals in NYC logging into them. Large dating sites tend to be high-quality due to years of experience and success. This means that they would have the necessary tools needed to find the date you desire.

Great Ideas for Dating in NYC

When you have found a date, you may want to decide where you two want to go. You may even want to decide before getting a date. Herpes dating doesn’t really restrict you and your date on where you can go. Being a huge city, NYC is filled with all sorts of places you two can explore and bond in. It can be hard to make a choice. The place depends on what kind of date you and your sweetheart want to go. Here are a few places to start or give you an idea of where you guys can go:

• Brooklyn Botanic Garden for a calm, romantic day or evening outdoors
• The Water Table is a relaxing bar on a boat for a more casual date
• The Cliffs at LIC, the rock climbing facility, is for a more adventurous date and excellent for some fun exercise
• Brooklyn Night Bazaar is filled with all sorts of activities, such as arcade games, mini golf, and karaoke, not to mention grabbing some dinner and drinks and checking out the concert venue
• Nitehawk Cinema is a unique movie theater where you and your date can eat dinner and watch retro re-releases of movies as well as various indie-made movies

On HerpesDatingSites.com, you will find honest and detailed reviews about some of the most popular herpes dating sites around. We have signed up to these sites, tested out the features, experienced the positives and the negatives, interacted with the users, and looked up everything you need to know about whether or not the site will be beneficial to you. Check the best herpes dating sites for 2020 now!